Bear Weather Fans

     "Great defensive play along with a few key takeaways propped up a sputtering offense in the midst of a quarterback controversy surrounding a talented-but-maligned starter and a well-known veteran from the bench" he wrote down, here on this game summary and also on the tombstone of the Chicago Bears. This is who we are. We'll be throwing out talented starters with big arms but frustrating decision-making in favor of boring journeymen backups to squander our Super Bowl-caliber defense while Green Bay trots out a seamless stream of Hall-of-Famers every decade and a half until the heat death of the universe. It's like when a soap opera thought they were going to get cancelled, only to get picked up at the last minute, so they have to quickly slap together a script for the season that ends up being all recycled content from previous seasons. This is the equivalent of a clip show episode for a Chicago Bears season. What better way to showcase a season-that-almost-wasn...

Let's see the recipients of the most coveted awards in all of sports, the weekly BWF awards ! These awards are many, nuanced, and violently, sexily prestigious. Some say winning a BWF award should result in seppuku, as there is nothing left to strive for in this life. All we can say for certain are this week's prestigious award winners, starting with— The Akiem Hicks Literal Bear Award Awarded to: Akiem Hicks. He’s so good it’s stupid. Unreal how underrated he’s been for what feels like the better part of a decade, which is like 30 in bear years. God Bless that bear man(?). The Keith Traylor Award For Excellence in a Big Man Truckin’ Awarded to: Charles Leno     Lookit those hands on Leno. Those screen passes he lined up for in 2018 are all making sense now. It was worth flushing the 2019 offense down the toilet just to catch the Giants off-guard on the long con. Also, shoutout to David Montgomery on this play, who had so much confidence in its design that he decided a play a...

 Had you turned the game off at halftime, you would've been forgiven for thinking it was a 30+ point blowout in the Bears' favor. Maybe they pulled Trubisky after the gap hit four scores and threw in Nick Foles for kicks? Hell, maybe they threw in whoever the hell was third-string QB these days. Did anybody buy Matt Barkley a seat to the game? Is David Fales still... Fales-ing? Maybe somebody knock on the door of the nursing home that cares for Todd Collins? Lord knows in 2020 an NFL field is safer than any nursing home. Damn, I need to stop drinking so much during the games if I'm gonna try to write anything cohre;jak Anyways, you'd be forgiven for stone cold soberly tuning off at halftime and thinking the Bears won in a blowout, seeing as the Bears defense shut out the Giants offense, while the Bears offense steamrolled the Giants defense, scoring 17 before the half and slapping them repeatedly with several more near-scores. Instead, inane coaching decisions and the r...

Welcome, to the greatest honor bestowed upon any player, potentially in any sport: The Bear Weather Fans Chicago Bears 2010s All-Neck Team. Here, our top-tier analysts use their savant-level knowledge of all things Bears combined with scientifically rigorous formulas to answer man's most age-old question: Which player on the Chicago Bears from 2010 through 2019 had the best neck? Scoring System: Here, we're evaluating this important matchup using Bear Weather Fans' proprietary state-of-the-art, advanced analytics system, composed of the following three metrics, scored 1-5, summed together and multiplied by a convenient factor of 27.83: Size If we've learned anything from the NFL Combine measuring process and their insistence to publish players', uh,  hand length , it's that: A) Football is a game of inches, and all of those inches are found on various parts of their players' bodies. B) The NFL really wishes they could cut out the middle man and j...

Welcome, gentle, sexy readers, to the most exciting, in-your-face, Doritos Extra Ranch-level EXTREME site in all the low-grade amateur Chicago NFL-based sports blog world! Just by reading this far you've proven that you:     1- are the kind of person who needs the cutting, no-holds barred insight that only low-tier hobbyist writers at Bear Weather Fans can offer    2- have the disposable free time necessary to not complain when we waste yours    3- have an internet connection And for the above reasons, and presumably many, many more, you're exactly the kind of person Bear Weather Fans is looking for. We're sure you have many questions, almost none of which we're equipped to answer. Let's dive in! Q - What is Bear Weather Fans? WHO WANTS TO KNOW Ahh shoot. Feels like we got off to a bad start. Let's try that again. Hi! Some weather, amirite!?!? To answer your question, Bear Weather Fans is Chicago Bears blog and podcast by, and for, idiots! He...