Bear Weather Fans

Look! Over there! It's a Soundcloud Link!   This week, Coach Bob and Patrick evaluate the Bills-Bears "Trubisky revenge game", the offensive line, how Montgomery gained so much speed, some new quarterback on the roster, and the question of how in the hell Andy Dalton took his team to five straight playoffs.  Tune in to find out! (It was the offensive line)

 Sure, other "accredited" journalists with "experience" or "taste" will provide coverage of why Teven Jenkins is having season-ending surgery . Ask yourself - do I really need this shit today ? Besides the fact that you've already seen the original and don't need the Chris Williams Direct-to-Video Sequel, you're spending your free time following a game that's making you sadder . What the fuck point is that? What joy is to be had? How is one to masturbate to this? That's why your favorite beat (heh) writers here at Bear Weather Fans are shamelessly throwing this pile of Justin Fields training camp clips at you. There is no analysis here. You will not be smarter for having seen any of these. It's just bonertime. Let's go.  First off, look how far this dude can motherfucking throw. Like, seriously, look at this shit Watch to the end of Justin Fields throwing a 60-65 yard pass at practice.  pic.twitter.com/48yGcSVJUb — Club Dub (@Be...

 PSYCHE MOFOS THAT WAS NOW We have a Bear Weather Fans Podcast, and it's incredible , like listening to it will probably bump your IQ up a standard deviation and your sexiness up 3. If you disagree, all I can say is “I’m sorry you were born so close to Green Bay too - and yes, I agree life isn’t fair. Now don’t forget to take your medication to keep your blood movin’.” Our first episode was recorded live with Patrick and Coach Bob in our $150M Bear Weather Fans state-of-the-art studio, the recording from which we paid six Grammy-winning sound engineers to produce to sound like two amateurs in their home offices, because we wanted to appear humble and true-to-our roots. We’d listen back to make sure we sound like common men of the people but it’s honestly just hard to find time between games of Equiestrian Polo and Adriana Lima’s cavier tastings. In this episode, we discuss the first preseason game, wether there is a single real person playing O-line for the Bears or if the entire u...

    After re-watching the Packers film all week, there's only one conclusion. Well, I mean there's hundreds, most of them me screaming between bottles of whiskey demanding to know what God would allow this.     But an important one: playing Duke Shelley in meaningful snaps against Aaron Rodgers is the defensive back equivalent of submitting an application for assisted suicide. He's not fast enough to cover receivers, not good enough of a tackler to be anything but a liability in the run game, and uses the energy he should spend on diagnosing plays to instead commit costly penalties to set up easy touchdowns. He's secondary euthanasia, except usually euthanasia is attempted to be performed with dignity.     Why do we here at Bear Weather Fans call him "the only nickel who is literally worth that much"? Well, for starters—   1. Duke Shelley Doesn't Have the Speed to Cover Receivers (Or Anybody)     Here Duke Shelley, ...

    Admit it, when NFL network announced that Nagy was taking more of a hands-on role in the Bears offense, a shiver went down your spine. What kind of idiot would see an offense that leapt up in every single category the minute his hands were taken off the wheel and conclude "this is all good, but what it needs is more ME"? This is somehow worse than the visor.        And then, like a horror movie in slow motion, the monster started to rear its ugly head. Javon Wims getting meaningful snaps for some reason. Rashaad Coward being asked to do anything other than boost the confidence of pass rushers at practice. Saying goodbye to all the success off of play action passing and zone runs out of 12 personnel they've built on for the last several games to switch to 11-personnel, inside zone running, shotgun-heavy offense. Trubisky being asked to outperform Aaron fucking Rodgers with full-field reads out of shotgun.    Yes, the Bears are in the...

    You knew it was gonna happen. For a man who's so self-absorbed, who refused to give up playcalling despite running some of the best offensive weapons into the ground for the better part of two years, who so disproportionately values his own identity over objective evaluation that his mantra is literally "be you", you just knew that he couldn't sit back and let his team succeed without him. You are you, Nagy. That's the problem.       Of course Rashaad Coward saw the field against the Packers, despite not showing any skills other than "medium-budget strip club bouncer". Of course Wims saw an uptick in snaps again despite the offense's resurgence being almost entirely while he was on the bench. Of course we saw the resurgence of shotgun passes, inside zone runs, nonsensical trick plays in redzone in goal line situations that make you wonder if he even understands that their is no "style" portion of the scoring system.        ...

     Yes, the Jaguars blow. Yes, they're more interested in earning the first overall pick to trap Trevor Lawrence into their carnival of horrors of a franchise, get him hit with enough frequency to turn his rotator cuff into the ghost of Cam Newton's shoulder, and drive him into the ground before quietly taking him out back and Blackfish-ing him, as is Florida custom. Still, the Bears did what good teams should do against bad teams: beat the everloving shit out of them. Holy crap. Where to begin? The Good Second-Half Adjustments     After getting dangerously away from what the Bears offense is supposed to be now that the seemingly only sober man at Hallas Hall has taken away Nagy's keys, the Bears came out of the half utterly dismantling the Jaguars at every phase of the game. On offense, they embarrassed the Jaguars at every level of the field. Mitch took advantage of a defense that reacted to every play action with the discipline of a new COVID puppy get...